Currently I've come to a low point in my life. I know i have dealt with depression in the past and I've gotten threw it before. i don't know how but i have. but right now though it seems i feel like i can't. I also have been very emotional and sensitive.. like something really small will make me cry.. sometimes i just feel like i want to crawl into a hole and stay there as long as possible.. but that's just absurd. Now and again It seems worse than it is, But mostly the view is accurate.
I know i have so much in my life to be happy about but i cant seem to escape this feeling. Even if i am feeling lonely i know i am not alone. I have amazing friends and family, also i cant forget to mention my wonderful boyfriend Han. He has helped me so much and is always there for me. I talked to him about this today and he didn't really seem to understand at first. i told him that it doesn't have anything to do with him and to not worry about me. I just want him to be there for me when i need him most. I find most comfort in him and my father... i don't know why but they make me feel safe. I feel like I'm home when i am at the side of either of them.
Although sometimes even if i am in a room filled with people that love me i cant help but feel alone... maybe its just that i feel alone in this.. in this feeling and i feel like no one knows or understands. But i know i am not alone in this feeling, i am not the only person that is feeling this way. if i think about it that way, it makes me feel a little better. I just pray for God to help me through this. i know he wants me to cast my feelings of despair and anxiety on him... but i feel like i am being unheard.
I long to be heard.
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Your def. not alone feeling that way Amanda. It doesn't go away, but you can learn how to manage it and how to help those that love you understand what you are going through. The first thing though is to vent. Keeping things to yourself doesn't help you, it hurts you.
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